Thanks Giving

This Thanksgiving dinner will be different.  Not really in any bad or good type of way, but in a way that I will be thankful to have memories, to have thought that is functional, to have the ability to say what I want to say with words that roll off my tongue without a hitch. Unless I drink that whole bottle of champagne while trying to clean that poor little turkey.

Here I was so many years ago, helping my mom cut flowers in the back yard.  My mom showing me how to use the scissors, telling me to smile and taking my picture.  Teaching me what to do, how to talk, how to listen and how to learn.

My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease a couple of weeks ago. A confirmation of what we already knew.  The Shakespeare line, ‘A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet’, makes me think of my mom.   Having  named  a diagnosis doesn’t change anything. And I mean that in every possible way it could be taken.

Here is my mom the other day, after she found this hat in my car and I asked her to smile so I could take her picture.  Instead of smiling she started acting out a scene like she was a character in a movie and had us both hysterical with laugher.  That’s basically how my life has been with my mom…tons of laughter.  One of her favorite stories to tell me was how I made her laugh uncontrollably in a check out line at a store because I started laughing at a peacock feather.  I guess some things never change.  Even more important, laughter is all about the moment, not the memory.

This photo is  so ‘Dell’…   There was some fluid in her ear which was making her normal hard of hearing even worse…so she’d try bending down and shaking the water out of her ear…seeing if she’d be able to hear any better, and then held the pose so I could take her picture…It reminded me of ‘I’m a little Tea cup short and stout’ song that she always would act out for me when I was little.  My mom is quick to do anything anyone asks of her 🙂  not afraid of looking foolish.

It’s truly amazing how the brain has such ability to remember and it can all be taken away and then you just wonder how must it be to be empty of memories.   The good thing is, it seems if you can’t remember, you don’t actually worry about not remembering (in her case).  I know some people have trouble with forgetting and maybe it bothers them, but with my mom, she really seems to just be kind of in awe that she can’t remember but not discouraged or depressed and takes it all in stride.  I am sure that living with her may be a different story, but from my perspective, I am ok if she is ok with it.  There are times she gets angry but it’s not lasting and she can’t remember she was mad, so again, there is another gift in forgetting.

A pretty wonderful song ‘I’m not going to miss you’ by Glenn Campbell who had Alzheimers.

I’m Not Gonna Miss You

This  Thanksgiving will be the first year my mom won’t make that Pineapple goo. As my  friend Holly calls.  Pineapple goo…I asked my mom for the recipe this morning and she can’t remember she ever made it, something she has made every year since I’ve known her.  I thought I would try my hand at the pineapple goo since I really love it and  butter and sugar make me happy.  And maybe my mom will remember it after she tastes it…it’s a very hard dish to forget, it really is that delicious.

So Thanksgiving may be different this year, without my moms cooking, but it will certainly be filled with lots of thanks and lots of laughter.

Happy Thanksgiving!  (2017)